Mama, please don’t grow old yet
I know I’m a baby no more
But I’ve been with you since I knew the world
And I knew it knowing you are strong
Mama, please don’t show your age
For if you do, it will show mine
And I’ll be reminded of the reasons
Where you get those lines beside your eyes
Mama, please don’t stop talking
Be angry if you want
Laugh as much as you please
Just don’t be silent and sad
For your silence
Feels like a night without the moon
A party without the guests
And a pocket without a penny
Mama, please keep your hearing clear
‘Cause I want you to know my thoughts
Every night while others are asleep
And listen to my dreams in the morning, while others have their cup of coffee
Mama, let’s sing songs of love together
And I want you to sing even if we’re apart
For I want others to hear the reason
Why I had the sweetest dreams at night
Mama, please don’t grow old yet
I know I’m a baby no more
But I’ve been with you since I knew the world
And I knew it knowing you are strong
* * *
This is the poem that I wrote the first time that I had to bring my mother to the clinic.
It was New Year’s Eve back in 2014 when she had a hard time breathing. We suspect that it was asthma since the firecrackers were everywhere. I was really worried that time because the nearest clinic was closed. So we went to another clinic. However, the doctor’s assistant refused to sell us medicines because my mother had no prescription from the doctor. He suggested that we wait for the doctor because she left to attend a New Year’s Eve Mass. Anyway, the clinic is located just beside the doctor’s house.
Minutes later the doctor came. That time mother was already catching her breath. What bothered me even more was the hissing sound that I hear every time she inhales and how pale her face was.
Knowing the urgency in my mother’s situation, the assistant immediately went outside the clinic to inform the doctor about my mom. I can see them talking through the transparent door. To my surprise, the doctor didn’t even bother to throw us a glance. She made her way inside her house and the assistant returned in the clinic telling us that the doctor cannot check on my mother because it was a holiday. Yes. I repeat, the doctor cannot check on my mom because it was fucking holiday! There was a patient and she cannot perform her effin’ job because she had to observe New Year’s Eve. Is that what the sermon was all about? Pathetic. That time, I swear, I was already killing a doctor inside my head.
So the assistant ended in giving us instructions on how to perform first aid to help my mom feel better. Stupid, isn’t he? He could’ve done that earlier while we were waiting. Kaloka!
That night, we went home and celebrated New Year’s Eve with worries in our hearts, if you could still call that a celebration, e ‘di wow sa’yo.
That same night, as I went to bed, I came up with a prayer;
Don’t let her age and feel sick. Not now. Not ever.
© Gia Marie 2016
Gia Marie Ensima-Hizon 