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Sinukuan

Ito ang araw kung kailan ihihinto ang tibok ng pusong manol.

Iuukit sa kahoy ng kahit anong puno ang sakit at lalim ng damdaming sa oras ay ginahol.

Sa gabi, bago pa pumikit ay tahas tahasang sasariwain ang mga ngiti na pilit ipininta kahit sa mata ay walang nakararating na ningning; mga ngiting ipinaskil habang ang bibig ay nagsisinungaling sa kasasabing, “Kayong dalawa ay perpekto…”-Puta, kay sakit.

Tatahimik…

Tatahimik…

Tatahimik ang pag-asa…

Kasabay nito ay ang pag pwersa sa sarili na simula ngayon, sa araw na ito; ika-tatlo sa buwang kung kailan ang mga nobya ay nakaputi, tayong dalawa ay tatayo sa altar ng katotohanan, suot ay manipis na lubid, balat kailanma’y hindi magdidikit, mga kamay ay magkagalit, walang pangungusap ng mga tumititig na mata ang uunawain, sapagkat ito, ito ang araw… ang puki ng inang araw, na hanggang kaibigan na lamang ang turing sa taong pinagnanasaan ng pusong makatas kung umibig.

 

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Parang Oda

Matagal na pala kitang naiguhit;

noong iba pa ang aking gusto,

noong iba pa ang aking nais.

Ni hindi ko nga alam ang iyong wangis

o kahit ang iyong hugis.

Ngunit nailapat ko sa papel ang kulay

na sa’yo’y bumibigkis.

Napudpod na ng panahon ang aking mga pangkulay

at papel nang ikaw ay dumating.

At tila nagpapatawa ang langit nang malamang

sa’yo ay may tumatawag nang “akin.”

Puta, kay husay ng tadhanang

gawing tama ang mali, lalo na’t ang

sinasangkalan nito ay ang pusong marupok

na ang gusto lamang ay mahalin.

Iniibig ko ang bawat pilantik ng iyong daliri.

Ang impit na pagtili.

Iniibig ko ang pagtaliwas ng matitingkad na kulay

sa iyong balat, kahit ang mata mong umiismid.

At handa ko pa sanang ibigin

ang lahat ng bagay na sa’yo ay hindi ko pa batid.

Ngunit ang pag-ibig ay isang kumpetisyon,

na katangahan ang lumaban kung mayro’n nang nagwagi.

@Gia Marie.2017 All Rights Reserved

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Sawsawan

Pasukin natin ang platito!

At dito bumuo tayo ng lasang- atin.

Maasim. Maalat. Maanghang.

Bawal.

 

Pasukin natin ang platito!

Dito ay lilikha tayo

Ng mundong sa atin lang iinog-

Masikip. Makitid. Madamot.

 

Pasukin natin ang platito!

Magtanggalan na tayo ng buto!

Paghaluin ang ating katas

Pero teka, ano bang mabubuo?

 

Wala.

Naglolokohan lang tayo.

 

Pasukin natin ang platito!

Nahihirapan ako.

Mag-iisip ka pa ba?

Oo. Hindi- ako- makahinga

 

Pasukin natin-

Masakit-

Sige na-

Mahirap-

 

Akala ko ba-

Akala ko rin-

Mahal kita-

Akala ko rin-

 

Dito ka lang

Sa platito natin-

Ako ba ay-

Iiwan rin?

 

Patawad.

Lalabas na ako-

Sa platitong

hindi atin.

 

Hindi ako para sa atin

Hindi ako para humati

Sa sawsawang

hindi sa akin

 

© Gia Marie, 2016

Posted in poem

Pink Wall

Your memories hang on my wall;

on my pink wall

on my dirty pink wall

No.

not dirty

just, well-

dark;

a sad kind of dark

perfect for rainy days

At least you created something perfect.

It’s on my wall.

on my pink wall

on my pink sad wall

 

Your breathe

Your smile

Your stares

It’s all hanging

Like a washed laundry, hanging

a dying orchid, hanging

a pair of earrings, hanging

a necklace on the neck, hanging

a choked neck;

on the rope, hanging

 

Just like your love: hanging

And it’s all on my wall

On my pink wall

On my pink

sad

wall.

© Gia Marie 2016 All Rights Reserved
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In Betweens

Dizzy she was

 

So as we climb

You held her hand

You shared the weight

To keep her stand

 

Freezing she was

 

So as we stop

You hugged her tight

To keep her warm

And fight the night

 

Headache she has

 

Sat with her

Pressed her light

She closed her eyes

And turned to right

 

And in between

 

I was nothing

But a scared thing

I was afraid

And was lonely

 

Selfish I was

 

Wanted your warmth

Your care, your touch

Wanted so much

Your bounty heart

 

But in between

 

Your stares I have

You look at me

When I do smile

When I do laugh

 

And in between

 

You tease me light

You call my name

Stood upright

We share the sight

 

Oh! In between

 

You give me things

Stick to stand

A mug for warmth

A stone to rest

My muddy heart

 

So why would I

Be scared and sad?

You she had

When strength she lack

 

So why would I

Be scared and sad?

When in-betweens

You give me life

 

 

© Gia Marie 2016 All Rights Reserved

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Thoughtless

If life is just a blow of dust

If life is as swift as sand

I’ll sit with you no matter what

I’ll sit with you till we’re tired to rock

 

If life would grow and fade

Like a candle which melts away

I’ll make sure I’ll be with you

We’ll brave the storm away

 

If life would mock

If life would suck

I’ll hold your hand and close my eyes

Burst out my tears and prepare to smile

 

Cause if loving you

Would take my life

Then I’ll love you more

So we’ll share one life

 

 

© Gia Marie 2016 All Rights Reserved

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Marry Me

Marry me!

 

I’ll offer you a ring

Then wear it on the ring

It may not be a surprise

But I’ll accept the prize

 

Marry me!

 

Never been touched by a female’s kiss

I know how virgin you’ll be

But let me do it right

Let me ignite the fire

 

Marry me!

 

I’ll have the world agree

I may not have any to offer

But soon you’ll see

I can bear you a child, which HE- can’t give

 

And that’s when you’ll surely thank me for saying

 

“Marry me.”

***

Hey Butterflies! Wanna ask for your opinion. What do you think is the story behind this poem? 🙂 Feel free to comment! Enjooy!

 

© Gia Marie 2016
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Mama

Mama, please don’t grow old yet

I know I’m a baby no more

But I’ve been with you since I knew the world

And  I knew it knowing you are strong

 

Mama, please don’t show your age

For if you do, it will show mine

And I’ll be reminded of the reasons

Where you get those lines beside your eyes

 

Mama, please don’t stop talking

Be angry if you want

Laugh as much as you please

Just don’t be silent and sad

 

For your silence

Feels like a night without the moon

A party without the guests

And a pocket without a penny

 

Mama, please keep your hearing clear

‘Cause I want you to know my thoughts

Every night while others are asleep

And listen to my dreams in the morning, while others have their cup of coffee

 

Mama, let’s sing songs of love together

And I want you to sing even if we’re apart

For I want others to hear the reason

Why I had the sweetest dreams at night

 

Mama, please don’t grow old yet

I know I’m a baby no more

But I’ve been with you since I knew the world

And  I knew it knowing you are strong

* * *

This is the poem that I wrote the first time that I had to bring my mother to the clinic.

It was New Year’s Eve back in 2014 when she had a hard time breathing. We suspect that it was asthma since the firecrackers were everywhere. I was really worried that time because the nearest clinic was closed. So we went to another clinic. However, the doctor’s assistant refused to sell us medicines because my mother had no prescription from the doctor. He suggested that we wait for the doctor because she left to attend a New Year’s Eve Mass.  Anyway, the clinic is located just beside the doctor’s house.

Minutes later the doctor came. That time  mother was already catching her breath. What bothered me even more was the hissing sound that I hear every time she inhales and how pale her face was.

Knowing the urgency in my mother’s situation, the assistant immediately went outside the clinic to inform the doctor about my mom. I can see them talking through the transparent door. To my surprise, the doctor didn’t even bother to throw us a glance. She made her way inside her house and the assistant returned in the clinic telling us that the doctor cannot check on my mother because it was a holiday. Yes. I repeat, the doctor cannot check on my mom because it was fucking holiday! There was a patient and she cannot perform her effin’ job because she had to observe  New Year’s Eve. Is that what the sermon was all about? Pathetic. That time, I swear, I was already killing a doctor inside my head.

So the assistant ended in giving us instructions on how to perform first aid to help my mom feel better. Stupid, isn’t he? He could’ve done that earlier while we were waiting. Kaloka!

That night, we went home and celebrated New Year’s Eve with worries in our hearts, if you could still call that a celebration, e ‘di wow sa’yo. 

That same night, as I went to bed, I came up with a prayer;

Don’t let her age and feel sick. Not now. Not ever. 

 

 

© Gia Marie 2016

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Invisibly

 

Mr. Sunny went to Paris

But that didn’t matter much

For that place will always be visible

Even if I close my eyes

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Mr. Sunny might spend some time in Brooklyn

But that won’t matter much

For Brooklyn is  just a step away

From where I would always stand

1649728291925919

 

Mr. Sunny might jog around the parks of New York

But that won’t matter much

For New York will never be big enough

For me to lose track of my man

1649684838596931

 

Mr. Sunny may climb the mountains of Ireland

But that won’t matter much

For I know he’ll remember me once he climb

And he’ll remember how I push myself up to be with him on the top

1673445069554241.jpg

 

And he’ll remember how I catch my breath every time we’ll stop

And he’ll remember how amaze I am

I’m amaze with the mountains

But I’m more than amaze with him

 

And of all the things that might happen

This is something that would always matter to me

That Mr. Sunny, remembers me

And that’s going to be wonderful

 

And it’s going to be enough

It’s going to be more than enough

To remember the people you love

Even if they are far

 

So Mr. Sunny went to Paris

He’ll spend some time in Brooklyn

He’ll jog around the parks of New York

He’ll climb the mountains of Ireland

 

And he’ll remember me

And that’s going to be

His ultimate adventure

To be with me, invisibly


Who is Mr. Sunny?

Let’s get into the point, who is Mr. Sunny? Well, as what was told in the poem, “that didn’t matter much.” Char! Hahaha! 

Mr. Sunny is someone whom I was afraid to lose. Not until I realize that I had actually nothing to “lose”  because he was never mine. He used to be the subject of my poems and my drawings.

You know what’s good about you-like-him-but-he-doesn’t-like-you-back kind of story? It is the fact that you two don’t really have a story together, it is just you all along. You are not on the same page, you are alone somewhere in that chapter of  life where you have to learn that law of attraction sometimes fail. That means, you alone can decide when to stop and when to move forward.

Cheers, Butterflies! 🙂

© Gia Marie 2016
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May Ako Kaba?

Nagkaroon kanaba ng ibon?

Ng aso?

Ng pusa?

Ng pagong?

 

O ng kahit na anong nilalang na inari mo noon bilang paslit;

na humahabol sa iyo sa kahit saan ka mag-suot at magpiit;

ng nilalang na walang ninais kundi ang makalaro ka at hawakan mo ng mahigpit;

ng nilalang na gustong ang bawat ingay mo’y naririnig?

 

Nagkaroon kanaba ng bagay na humihinga na ang tingin sa’yo ay daigdig?

Daigdig na dahilan ng pagsulpot ng lahat ng bagay sa paligid;

Daigdig na kumukulong sa lupa at sa langit;

Daigdig na walang kaparang dinadaig?

 

Nagkaroon kanaba ng dalangin?

Dalangin na lagi mong sinasambit sa gabi;

Dalangin na inaabangan mong dumating;

Dalangin na  gustong-gusto mong makamit?

 

Nagkaroon kanaba ng ako?

Ng ako na inari mo noon na parang paslit;

Ng ako na humahabol sa iyo sa kahit saan ka mag-suot at magpiit;

ng ako na walang ninais kundi ang makalaro ka at hawakan mo ng mahigpit;

ng ako na gustong ang bawat ingay mo’y naririnig?

 

Nagkaroon kanaba ng ako?

Ng ako na ang tingin sa’yo ay daigdig?

Dahil ikaw dahilan ng pagsulpot ng lahat ng bagay sa paligid;

Dahil ikaw ang kumukulong sa lupa at sa langit;

Dahil sa akin wala kang kaparang dinadaig?

 

Nagkaroon kanaba ng ako?

Ng ako na lagi mong sinasambit sa gabi;

Ng ako na inaabangan mong dumating;

Ng ako na  gustong-gusto mong makamit?

 

At kung ako ay dumating?

Sa anyong hindi mo mapapansin

Ituturing mo parin bang daigdig?

Iisipin mo bang nasagot na ang iyong dalangin?

 

At kung ako ay dumating

Sa katauhang taliwas sa iyong nais

Hahawakan mo parin ba ng mahigpit

Ang kamay ko ng katulad ng paghawak ng isang paslit?

 

At kung ako ay dumating

Na iba ang bihis

Ako ba’y mapapansin?

O dadaanan mo lang ng mabilis at sandaling tingin?

 

Mahal

Palagi mo sanang tatandaan,

Na kahit kailan ay hindi iikot pabalik ang daigdig,

Kung ako man ay palalampasin, hinding hindi kita lilingunin

 

Sapagkat Mahal

 ‘wag mo sanang kalilimutan,

Lahat ng dalangin ay sinasagot,

Ngunit hindi lahat ay maaari mong makamit

 

Dahil mahal,

Alam kong alam mo, at alam natin itong pareho

Na mas kailangan mo ng ako,

Kesa kailangan ko ng ikaw

© Gia Marie 2016